Well this article may sound a bit weird to my friends.They may be thinking " Roshan Are you alone"
(They are adapted of seeing me always surrounded by friends always laughing) People do remember me for a Loud laugh and a broad smile as a person who laughs even on silliest of Jokes.
I am forced to question myself many times "Are those smiles true ?"
Many a times I try to consolidate my self giving reasons that cannot be acceptable. I did have my good days I too had few very close people in my College, School and even in the place where I work. But I never felt like sharing all my feelings with even my closest of friends.
What I always stuck to was what" What will my friend think about me If I share this?"
But later I was slowly coming out of this cocoon and trying to share my feelings with people whom I considered my friends, started coming out of my loneliness and showing up my emotional side the only feeling I had while doing so are after all they r my friends they can understand me and my feelings without hurting them.
And the answer I got was no you are turning into a fool. Yes indeed I was becoming a fool showing out my emotional weaknesses and exposing my Personal Likes and Dislikes.
A lot of them felt I started boring them and a few took advantage of my feelings. But that gave me a valuable lesson people preferred to stay around me bcoz I used to entertain them and used to Listen to their Grumblings.
After that was a hard call to make was to stop exposing my emotional side and my feeling wraping them back into the cocoon from which the I bought out my feelings. They were there alone and sad but they were never crushed, made fun of or never did any one take advantage of them.The loneliness in my life looms in again.
This time adversely I am happy about my loneliness I am prepared to live in my own world of fantasies not only the sad one but happy ones too.
And indeed I decided to put up the fake look and smile again which I wore may be that the way the world wants to see you.
I too had some true friends who stood by me in my days of peril just wanna thank them for standing aside me the grass on the other side was greener but still you guys decided to stay along side me not only stay along side me but also rescued me from the peril.
Thanks once more guy. I am always gratified towards you guys.
Thanks
Mr Devil
